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If a stranger sent you an email and asked to sleep on your couch, would you let him? Many people don't even like the idea of sharing their seat on the bus with a stranger, let alone sharing their home. But that's exactly what the idea of couchsurfing is all about: strangers meet online and then crash on each other's couches when traveling. It's popular around the world, particularly among teens. Over 2,000 new surfers sign up every day.
There are other ways that strangers help each other out while traveling. Hitchhiking — once socially acceptable, now illegal in many places — is being organized more and more online through websites like Craigslist and Digihitch.com. House-swapping is where you stay in someone else's home while they live in yours.
In each of these cases people are trusting their personal possessions — and their personal safety — to complete strangers. Have you tried couchsurfing, hitchhiking or house-swapping? What has your experience been?
We'll be talking to two couchsurfers, a hitchhiker, and a house-swapper, as well as a licensed clinical social worker who will tell us about how and why we trust each other.
GUESTS:
- Tim Hagge: Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Portland State University
- Alex Hansen: Couchsurfing Ambassador for Portland
- Heather English: Couchsurfer
- Al Peterson: Former hitchhiker
- Dee Poujade: Home-swapper
Tagged as: living · travel · trust
Photo credit: Chaz Wags / Creative Commons
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Thanks for sharing! I hope to do house exchanges in a few years, when I can take some extended time off from work. We love to travel and it seems like a great way to experience another culture. We have a great house in the Gorge, so are hoping it would be a good match from an exchange perspective.
I can't wait!
Julie
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A very cheap way to travel that is green and sociable is HITCHHIKING. There are more empty seats on cars than occupied ones. And an extra passenger can help make interesting conversation, broaden your world and maybe make one more friend.
However a few well publicized robberies, rapes, disappearances, murders, satanic ceremonies, and cannibals have made it a very rarely used travel option.
Trust is the First Casualty in a Crime Wave. I predict, a few well publicized crimes by the guests or by hosts, can make COUCHSURFING as dangerous as HITCHHIKING is percieved.
For Couchsurfers: Would you risk Hitchhiking on the Interstate for free transportation?
I would like some type of GPS based, trackable, audio and video streaming security that is smart phone based that would enable Hitchhiking to be Safe in the 21st Century.
Young people in Israel hitchhike freely--including young women. But then again they are usually IDF on break. And carry an M4 Assualt rifle and combat knife.
Sometimes promising trends decline because of the effect of the Worst Members of a Society. Do not be too idealistic, and you won't be disappointed.
Sometimes saving a dollar is not worth it. Trust is a Ethereal Commodity. Be Safe.
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"I would like some type of GPS based, trackable, audio and video streaming security that is smart phone based that would enable Hitchhiking to be Safe in the 21st Century."
A capability coming to you on high-end smartphones (and dataplans) in late 2011 or early 2012.
Of course that won't help if you run into a serious psycho with a cell phone dampener, but it'll work just fine for run-ins with your average recreational psycho.
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I used to hitchhike everywhere then 2 women I knew were murdered while hitchhiking - here in Oregon. Now, while I've hitchhiked in some other countries and felt comfortable, I don't hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers here.
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Back in the early 1970s after I got out of the Army and had worked a year bartending at Black Butte Ranch, I decided to see the USA. I asked all of my friends to give me the names, addresses, and phone numbers of their friends across the US and to contact them and ask them if I could stay with them if I came through their area. Then I just started out and wandered around driving in whatever direction interested me at the time. If there was someone in that area I would call them and they always let me stay with them or found another friend with a place with room.
It was a great way to travel, I even stayed a few days with a very wealthy Vice President of New York Chemical Bank who had an apartment up in the East 70s in NYC, NY. He was so rich that he didn't have to work at all, he just did investment banking as a hobby to keep busy.
Usually they would tell me what to see and visit, and they went off to work or school and I just did the tourist thing and met them back after work. I stayed with a Bell Labs engineer and his wife in Cleveland and he gave me a tour of his lab and showed me what he worked on for Bell.
A girl at Wellesley got me a room in a close farmhouse owned by friends.
I recommend that to younger folks and it would probably work too for older folks. I don't know how well it would work for families with kids but it has potential.
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"early 1970s after I got out of the Army".... Nam? No need to answer, if so I just wanted to offer a belated "Thanks, for serving" as I wasn't so appreciative of what our service-people went through at the time (I've grown up since).
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rethomas
I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I had to sue the Army and the Secretary of Defense in order to get out of the Army as a Conscientious Objector and eventually our regional Federal Court of Appeals ordered them to release me and give me an Honorable Discharge.
I helped stop that Vietnam War by doing that. After I got out I had several US Marines, including an Infantry Captain, who had served in Vietnam, tell me that they wished they had as much courage as I did.
Some of us served our Nation and the people of Vietnam by refusing to Kill. It is a very different kind of serving Humanity and one I am very proud of.
So you can take back your "thanks" if what I did offends you, I don't expect or need everybody to approve of what I did or refused to do.
And if you can appreciate some one who fights for the best in Humanity, well, you're welcome.
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My thanks stand Tom... you too served your country.
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Tom, let me add my thanks for your service to Our Great Nation, regardless of how wrong-headed the leaders who got us into that war may have been. Too many of America's Fighting Men and Women were given the cold shoulder or spat upon when they returned home from doing what they were sent by our government to do.
Serving one's nation does not always mean putting on a uniform and picking up an M16, sometimes serving one's country means having the courage to stand up for one's beliefs. It takes great courage to stand up to one's enemies, and greater courage to stand up to one's friends.
Finally, I applaud your courage to stand against something that was initially popular, until Americans woke up and smelled the burnt bamboo.
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(Yes, I know this is off-topic from the MAIN discussion, but it is on-topic to the side-thread.)
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rethomas and Penny
Thank you. It surprised me that you both have brought tears to my eyes.
There is so much good in this world.
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In the mid 1970s I worked occasionally for Northwoods Furniture factory driving a big UPS-like van delivering loads of furniture to places like a resort near Modesto, CA. And since I had no return load, I would pick up hitchhikers, sometimes I had as many as 13 to 15 in the back, talking and partying it up. Those were fun trips, back in the good old hippie days of helping each other out when you could.
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I traveled for 2.5 months in Europe this summer and stayed in hostel or hotel a total of 5 nights.
I stayed with friends I knew, and friends of friends, and also used the website Couchsurfing.org.
My experience with meeting new people and staying with complete strangers was fantastic. I traveled solo and am a female in my late 20's. That said, I was also safe.
I didn't stay with anyone that couldn't be vouched either by a) someone I knew well and trusted or b) that I couldn't get a good read from on their profile.
Couchsurfing profiles are really important. The more in depth they are and the more people leave positive comments about them, the safe I feel.
I arrived past midnight in Basel, Switzerland and a guy I'd never met before let me into his place for two nights, gave me a copy of the keys and let me have run of the place while he worked during the day. It was amazing! We had great conversation and he really contributed to me experiencing Switzerland in a much more authentic way.
I highly recommend it - but I also recommend traveling smart and listening to your gut - some situations are safe, others you should run from. But you can tell once you meet the people, or what they tell you (or leave missing in some cases) from their online couchsurfing profiles.
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I don't know if today's show was created with this in mind, but I just saw this link on the CS main page, and I think it's directly relevant:
http://www.couchsurfing.org/news/article/77
Some folks at Stanford are apparently doing a study on Trust, and they're looking at CS as an unusually successful program for creating trust among strangers. -
My husband and I arrived in Oregon two years ago on our tandem bicycle. Oregon was State 44 in our quest to visit all 50 states. In the year that we spent on the road, we never had a bad encounter with anyone (other than some angry drivers and dogs!) and we were invited into people's homes all the time. We stayed in homes of people from New York City to Athens, Georgia, to Elkton, Missouri.
Some of these we found through couch surfing, some through warmshowers.org (a hosting site for touring cyclists) and most through good old serendipity. (In almost every state, we would get invited home by someone we'd met that day at a local cafe, library or rest stop) We still keep in touch with a lot of the folks we met and consider them to be dear friends. We even had to hitchhike to the nearest town a few times when our bike or limbs broke down. Since we've settled in Eugene, we frequently host cyclists coming through the area.
We're in our early 30's and traveling and hosting in this way has helped us feel hopeful about the "State of humanity" in an era where mainstream media heavily covers only what goes wrong with human interaction. (Many times with a sensational spin).
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labeese
"State of humanity".
A friend reminded me recently that there are a lot of "Buddhas" in the world.
I think that is a good thing to remind ourselves of as often as possible. Um, and to try to emulate as often as possible.
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I took my very first trip to Europe this summer, and couchsurfed for the entire 3 months I was there. I honestly had nothing but fantastic experiences. The first month I traveled with a good friend of mine, and we worked out how best to use the network together. On each person's profile, it highlights their amount of friends, and displays comments of past surfers they have had. Obviously, if someone has no friends, and no references, they might not be a safe bet!
We at first were attracted to the idea because we were aiming to travel on a very tight budget. Although we did end up traveling extremely cheaply, allowing my trip to last as long as it did, that was not my favorite part about the couchsurfing experience in the end. It was getting to know the local people, meeting their friends, living and being a part of their life, that really made my travel experience. Even when they understandably do not necessarily hit up all the tourist destinations with each couchsurfer they host, they have the reccommendations that are not in the guidebooks, and are so much fun for nightlife! The relationships I have formed during my couchsurfing experience are so valuable to me. They not only made for a really complete trip, allowing me to really get to know each city behind the scenes, but are people that i care to stay in touch with, and maintain my own personal network.
By the time my friend left me, I was so comfortable with the network, I had no problem traveling on my own. I found that on my own, these relationships with my hosts were even tighter, and it forced me to hang out with other couchsurfers, and people that I absolutely would never have met.
My admiration for the couchsurfing network is enormous, and though the network is growing at the speed of light, may it continue to do so. I think that it has a very positive effect on human to human trust that this world so badly needs and seems to lack in this day and time.
-Whitney Dawson, student, age 20.
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Last year my husband and I joined couchsurfer and hosted a guy as well as stayed with man and his son in London. It was a great experience and he showed us places in London that we would have never seen. He even bought us a few pints while his son told us about some history in the area. We could have never afforded a hotel and this is a great option for people like us.
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I grew up in a home with very generous parents. We constantly had traveling musicians and friends of friends from all over the world staying with us, and we always had a spare room set up for just such an occasion. Now, I try and maintain this tradition of generosity.
I am a very active member of the CouchSurfing network, I frequently host others and I have surfed couches in dozens of U.S. cities as well as throughout Europe and New Zealand. I've met some of the most interesting and enjoyable people this way, and as a traveler I've found no better way to experience a new place than with someone who has his or her roots there.
I also very frequently utilize the Rideshare section of Craigslist. When I'm driving somewhere I almost always put an ad out and get someone to come along. On long drives it's nice to have someone to talk to, plus it keeps me awake. It is also a great way to save a few bucks if you ask for help with gas.
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Ok this was 40 years ago but it's a great story.
My mom and her best friend had been camping for several weeks and were playing tourists in the city. They stopped a young man on the street and asked if he knew someplace they could get a shower. Having an apartment nearby, he offered it.
The young man was my dad. They dated long distance for 2 years and then were happily married for 20 yrs, until my mom passed away.
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Interesting topic. I've been "couch surfing" here in PDX for three years - I live outside of Portland, but work here 4 days a week and so for the last 3 years I've stayed at friends houses 1 to 2 nights a week, which having formerly lived in Portland I have lots of friends "couches". Its saved me a ton of $ for not having to rent a place AND I get to stay in touch with my friends! Now friends call me too if they are heading out of town to ask me to stay while they are out. They appreciate having someone stay there while they are gone that they know.
So a different take on international couch surfing, which I've also done and open to others here.
I've also had people stay at my place, including the writer Rita Goldman-Geldman (author of the book Tales of a Female Nomad) who was in town for a reading. I really wanted to meet her to talk about her traveling life - so e-mailed her and she ended up staying at my place and we've kept in touch for years. Another time I had a kayking Kiwi guys stay that I met on the river, again we've kept in touch over the years - yet to make it to his couch though!
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I traveled outside of the US for my first time to Japan last year. I went to study abroad for 5 months in Tokyo by myself. I arrived a week before school started and before I could move into the dorms. I met a person through couchsurfing.org about a month before I left for Japan. The person I stayed with was a great host. I felt as if I was at home even though I was going through culture shock halfway around the world from my real home. Later in my stay in Japan I used couchsurfing again to stay with someone in Kyoto. It was a great way to find cool local spots to eat/drink and find out how the real locals live rather than being the typical tourist staying at an expensive hotel. I hope to host some people in the future when my housing is more stable. Great program and I'm thankful it exist.
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My neighbor frequently has couch surfer stay with him, one time I called the police because some rather sketchy individuals were waiting for him in his back yard and I thought he was being robbed. He is confident that this is safe, I'm not as convinced and as a father of two children if often causes me concern.
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I've used Couchsurfers and had great experiecnces, but there is another room-sharing site called "warmshowers.org" that's specifically for cyclists. I've done some international bike touring and this is a great site for help with lodging, route help, and info on the area I'm biking.
Being a 59 year old woman, I think my age is against me when I request places to stay on the web sites. I don't feel old, but I think the folks I'm asking think I'm old.
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There is a great documentary film about a couple of 20-something men from Oregon driving to Panama. Almost every night of their trip, families invite them into their homes to stay a night. Often feeding them dinner, once participating in a kids' birthday party.
There is introspective narration asking why this generosity is so common in Mexico and Central America, and so rare in the USA.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1474235/
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Opening up your doors to a stranger, and living with trust as your focus can be so rewarding. Especially in a world of "security culture." We can't let fear be the little voice tht guides our judgment toward people. When you break through whatever apprehensions toward accepting the unknown- you really open yourself up to marvelous possibilities.
and you get to exercise your instinct rather than make assumptions about people.
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high profile incidents (rape/murder) cloud up the thousands, hundred thousand, and millions of transactions that take place reasonably and humanely on the internets and highways.
Rape and murder can happen anywhere, but it's mostly with someone the victim knows well or for a longer period of time. Stranger on stranger crime is most likely theft of some sort, not murder/rape.
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My husband and I had an excellent experience with Couch Surfing in Lithuania. We didn't need housing but wanted to meet local residents. We used the Couch Surfing database for Vilnius to find older (40+) folks like us. We spent two evenings with a Lithuanian-American woman and another evening at an historic castle with a local accountant. It was a fabulous experience.
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I hitchhiked in the day of Ted Bundy. I would never hitchhike now or pick up a hitchhiker. I look back now and between drugs and hitch hiking I am amazed I am still alive. I usually did it with a friend but did it by myself going to Bellingham. I had several pretty scary things happen (put out or get out) but I talked my way out of things and made it but was afraid to hitch hike back home and ended up having my sister come and get me. Once my car broke down in SE Portland and I needed to get to work so stuck my thumb out when I told an elderly co-worker how I got to work she was shocked and asked if I had heard of taking a bus.
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My parents have been members of a group called the Affordable Travel Club http://www.affordabletravelclub.net/ for about 10 years. It allows them to stay with members, in their homes, when they travel for $25 per night. In exchange, they offer their home to members as well.
Since they are retired, they really enjoy the low cost travel option. In addition they have met many people who have become frequent visitors and long term friends. The club has minimal screening, but requires an annual fee.
Although this is not the way I like to travel, it has really worked well for them.
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I have been involved with the Oregon Bach Festival in Eugene for a while, and there was a time when many of the musicians who came from Germany would stay in people's homes here. There are still musicians who do this now, although not as many. It wasn't a swap exactly, but we made such great friends with these people, and many Bach Festival patrons from Eugene have a place to stay in Stuttgart if we go traveling.
Of course we trusted these people because we had something so wonderful in common - music, and the Festival, which is like a family.
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People in the PNSA, Pacific Northwest Ski Association, used to do that for the families traveling from race to race with their kids. I guess the trust was built out of that racing commonality. Wonderful folks. You had a place to stay when you went to their local race and in turn they stayed with you at your local race. Parents ended up cheering on their hosts children as well as their own, even as they competed against each other.
I don't know if they still do that.
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TRUST IS HARD TO EARN. IT IS EASY TO LOSE.
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I hitchhiked in Europe when I was in my 20s, mainly as a supplement to train travel when I needed to reach out-of-the-way places. While touring the Lake District in England I was picked up by a butcher in his truck. He hopped out to get the door for me and I was struck by his blood-splattered apron. I overruled by second-guesses and accepted the ride. A short way down the road he started to pull off into an even more remote area than we were already traveling in, and visions of horror films flashed through my mind. Turns out he simply wanted to show me one of the more breathtaking views of the lakes, and my trust in humanity was restored. I had other great experiences hitchhiking throughout the continent.
I don't think the US is any less safe than Europe for hitchhiking, but I still wouldn't do it here (then or now), unless I was in a real pinch. The attitudes toward hitchhiking are much more negative here, and the suspicion that surrounds hitchhikers and drivers who pick them up makes the whole experience seem somewhat sordid... sadly.
Wendy Ferguson
Portland
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Hey,
I have used couchsurfing myself extensively, both abroad and in the United States. I am journalism student at the Univerisity of Oregon and this summer I actually did an indipendent study that relied heavily on couchsurfing.org and staying with strangers I met during my trip. My objective was to create a website where I could post interviews I gathered from people, about opinions on the BP oil spill, while hitch hiking to New Orleans. I found that people were more willing to help a total stranger when I had an objective. Many allowed me to stay days at a time, and also gave me rides around to complete my project and gather interviews.
I met other couch surfers, and hitch hikers along the way and what I found made people trust them was the connection seeking. It seemed that most people just wanted to create connections with strangers and help them because it was a chance to share the environment they live in. It's like inviting a guest into your house, except more on community level. During my trip, while I was in Phoenix, I was able to talk to the real locals who grew up there. They described how the lifesyle has changed with sprawl, and wanted to explain to someone the history of the area.
Couchsurfing and hitchhiking gives many people a great oppurtunity to share experiences with a totalyl new and receptive person. A great place to start is couchsurfing.org.
Parker
Theroadreporter.com
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Years ago I ran out of gas on Hwy 99 south of Monmouth, out in the farm country. Hitchhiking in the dark, little traffic. A young woman stopped for me and told me she usually didn't stop but "you had nice eyes". That floored me, because I could hardly see her eyes in the car, much less going by at 50mph. The last guy I picked up (and I do mean the last) talked nonstop for 60 miles and told me TMI including three contradictory stories about where he was going and why. I was really glad to drop him off.
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In the late 1960s I was picked up by a preacher one afternoon going south out of Salem on my way back to OSU and I had to sit through his excruciating sermonizing all the way down to the Corvallis exit. But what the heck, he meant well and I appreciated the ride.
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is introspective narration asking why this generosity is so common in Mexico and Central America, and so rare in the USA
drenagem linfática
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In the mid 1970s shortly after I got out of high school a friend and I decided to travel the USA and Canada by thumb in 1976. This was a 9 month trip together and apart for the last half of that. We had some strange rides but none truely dangerous. I was always impressed with the trust placed in me by those that gave us rides. I was in 38 states and 4 Canadian provinces in this journey and did some of the east on a small Motorcycle. One story of many on trust was when Dave and I split up in Calgary Alberta after the Stamped rodeo. I was headed east and Dave was headed west.
Near Moosejaw Sashcatuwan in the early morning as I slept in a wheat field I was rousted by RCMP and they opened my pack and all I had in the pouring rain on the road and all I had was totally drenched wet. I walked along the trans Canadian Hwy in the rain for two hours totally drenched. I was picked up by a man 'Chuck' with his 8 year old daughter 'Lily' on his way to Winnipeg Manitoba many hundreds of miles going my way. I was a scragly wet mess that he put in the back seats with his daughter and in the next 6 hours of driving I dryed out and played cards with the girl and did word games and stories with them both. He needed someone to keep him awake was his initial comment when I was so thankful anyone picked me up as I was.
He was so trusting in me to be so close to his daughter and soaking wet as I was it always seemed incredible to me.
Jack of Jack and Jill, twins since 1955.
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yea , I have used couchsurfing myself extensively, both abroad and in the United States. I am journalism student at the Univerisity of Oregon and this summer I actually did an indipendent study that relied heavily on couchsurfing.org and staying with strangers I met during my trip....
imóveis
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Thank you
http://www.wannasoft.com
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Well I think the bigger a society, the less trust we have for each other. The same thing even applies to little things, such as asking for directions. People from small town will be very eager to tell you where to go, what route to take, and many people in big cities want nothing to do with you even regarding the smallest question. - Linda Fry
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Comments are now closed.
Hi- We've swapped homes about 8 times to places on the East coast, Canada and England and Germany. We have used Intervac, and Homelink International organizations to connect with people. We've exchanged with families with children and retired couples. We have never had a serious problem. When connecting through an organization you have access to more people who might be interested in exchanging. Usually you have several months to send emails, photos, phone calls and information back and forth so you develop a sense of who the people are you will be exchanging with.
You will be in their home and they in yours so there is a mutual trust between you. You can set some limits if necessary. Some people exchange cars as well, others don't. We have never had a bad experience or a surprise that the home wasn't what we thought it would be. Homelink also provides a map connection under each listing so you can find out how close the roads, trains and towns are. There is also a contract available partners can sign but we usually don't use those.
We do put away some items if we consider them particularly valuable especially if young children are coming. People will be able to look in your closets and have freedom in your home to see everything so for me it is more of a desire to leave the home cleaner and more organized looking than it might be. It is a great motivator. We have discovered different levels of what clean means to different families.
We've never had anything missing or broken. Home exchanging has allowed us to travel and see places we couldn't afford otherwise. The major expenses are food and gas not a hotel room or car rental. It also allows you to feel more a part of the community.
We would highly recommend home exchanging to anyone! Paula Carlson Corvallis