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You have an excellent sister, willing to share with you solutions and help you feel more in-control.

posted 3 years ago
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Both my husband and I experienced sexual abuse by friends of the family when we were young, and we suffered more from how our parents did not properly handle the situations than from the touching.  (I didn't even realize that the touching had been inappropriate until a video was shown in our 4th grade class later that year.)  I very-much hope that parents openly talk about how they would handle such a situation in their own families, because I can assure you that sweeping it under the rug will hurt your children for the rest of their lives, especially affecting their ability to trust the parents.

I have since experienced two serious incidents of sexual harassment in the workplace, and was not properly prepared to handle them.  Now in my thirties, I am FINALLY learning better strategies to keep these forms of abuse from happening, and feel more confident in my ability to manage the situation if it occurs again.

We do not have children yet, but will absolutely be doing a lot of reading and talking before deciding how to approach the subject with them.  I appreciate your show's forum today, which gives me the faith that I will handle the entire subject better than my family did, starting with actually talking about it.

posted 3 years ago
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I don't see religion as justification at all. Religious or not, we have the choice to learn these skills or not to, just as we are free to practice religion or not. The one is not predicated upon the other, and it's not a case of the chicken or the egg.

As for religion, and its use by powerful people to 'keep the man down'...well, that's an entirely different discussion.

And I don't see Bush, Obama, McCain or Clinton duking it out ("the real violence done to them by the wealthy and powerful"). The power of the wealthy and powerful is given to them by the many, because we live in a democratic state. We are the ones who can create change, and often sit on our a** instead.

To get back to the real issue, MMA, it is a sport, like football, rugby, gymnastics, soccer, lacrosse, biking, tennis, skiing, etc. Ironically, it is also generations (if not centuries) older than all of those. Please take a moment to understand where Martial Arts came from before you pontificate about them.

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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Of all the places the 'feminism' argument DOESN'T belong... and I'm a woman! Humans, not boys or girls, were given choice, and if they choose to be prepared for the violent world they live in, then their bodies and minds can be trained to do that. If not, then they may be at the mercy of those they are surrounded by. That's not a call to arms; it's an observation of the times. I don't think evolution has made our bodies LESS capable than those of the original martial arts masters, centuries ago...do you? These sports -- and they DO surround you, whether you know it or not -- are not stupid. The people who choose to learn them are prepared, strong, respectful members of our society, communities, and families. The very few who aren't respectful tend not to make it very far, or do it for 'show' on TV to sell more tickets to feed those families and bring more money into the community.

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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I haven't heard anyone, ESPECIALLY those in the ring (which I watch often) say that this is the path to becoming 'a man'. That's just insulting, as well as the fact that you ignore the number of women who enjoy this sport, in the ring and on the couch. The definition of who you are and how you feel about who you are depends greatly on your childhood and upbringing. If that upbringing included training in a martial art, and you are the better for it in self-respect, respect toward others, and a good work ethic, than bravo. I wish I had been learning Muay Thai from a young age instead of 22, because I would have been MUCH more prepared to deal with the 3 instances of workplace sexual harassment that have occured in my life. Instead, I retreated into myself, dealt with depression, and didn't face the problem. Each time I improved, but that shouldn't have been the case. I should have dealt with it in that moment, which martial arts trains you to do.

As I stated earlier, boxing has between one and three deaths a year. Sanctioned MMA matches have ZERO; and that's not per year, that's cummulative.

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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Competition requires the betterment of self. It forces change, like evolution.

Most things are not black and white, good and bad. Good things have come from bad, and pain creates change, awareness.

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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FANTASTIC comments, and VERY well-rounded. Thank you!

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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Well said. Excellent points, and from someone who knows something about the sport, as opposed to those who won't even read about it because they are 'morally opposed' to it...'morally opposed' to something that they know nothing about, and choose to pontificate about anyway.

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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Aparently Kyle has never been put in a situation where he has had to defend himself. It's lucky for him, and I hope that that trend continues in his life. Unfortunately, my husband's family was destitute... not poor, but truly destitute and homeless for a period of a couple years. When you are in that situation and living in a city at a young age, you can find yourself in a seriously unhealthy and violent environment, like he did. To be given the tools to rise above that situation, learn the benefits of hard work, earn your teacher and classmate's respect, and know that you are less likely to be hurt in the future because of your skills is an incredibly powerful thing.

It would also be beneficial if you knew the first thing about the variety of martial arts. You apparently also haven't heard of Aikido, which is the practice of using your opponent's movements and power non-aggressively, without harming them or yourself. It is the art of the takedown, to subdue an attacker, with no kicks, hits, etc. This is the art my husband would like to learn next, and it take many years to master.

Have you noticed that there is a war going on? Wait, there are multiple wars and conflicts, and this is a continuous problem since the dawn of man. We do not live in a peaceful society, and to be prepared for the society that we ACTUALLY live in, as opposed to the society you would LIKE to live in is a choice each person has to make. And as 'perkygrubb' notes, "the ultimate purpose of martial arts isn't martial at all, it's spiritual." That's because the majority of Asian martial arts, and Capoeira, have evolved to be inclusive of some kind of religion, whether it be Buddhism (many monks are martial arts masters), Confucism, etc. Are you going to tell me that Buddhists are violent?

The industrial revolution negated hand-to-hand combat, for the most part, so martial arts have become a 'sport', as you hate to call it. And the government requires those with this kind of training to hold themselves more accountable than the rest of citizenry. If my husband were to be in a bar fight, he would be automatically hand-cuffed and could easily be charged with a felony. The government holds him more accountable because he holds blackbelts and could seriously harm an untrained citizen. We not only don't go to bars because the atmosphere lends itself to an unstable situation; We also don't go out drinking with friends at homes because people chat, and then find out that you love martial arts, and they ALWAYS want a demonstration. This is the height of bad judgement, and we never follow through.

The following countries have developed a style of their own martial arts, and most have 2 or 3: Russia, Greece, Japan, Ireland, China, Thailand, Brazil, the Philipines and Israel. I know that's not all of them. There are reasons these have developed, whether fighting an enemy on horseback (Wushu), grappling (Pankration), weapons (Bata), self-defense (Aikido), or throwing (Judo). I recomend you read up on them before passing judgement on the people who practice them. The point of mixed martial arts is to pull what works best for each person from each art, and put them to use against an opponent with different moves and training. It's a celebration of 'sports' older than you care to admit.

And my husband IS an athlete. He is better shape at 32 than when he played college soccer on scholarship. He doesn't train to cause pain, he just realized that point sparring, which he also did, did not properly prepare one for an actual fight. There is no resistance and no pain to learn from. Pain is his teacher. He works out for hours at a time, not hurting anyone but a punching bag. Those who would grapple and train with him, he would only work out with if they were as committed as he. Those who step in the ring or on a practice mat are prepared to learn and improve. Their bravado is often a show, as they would like to sell tickets to be able to feed their families, which most of them have. They aren't as different from you as you would like to think. Maybe you should meet one before bashing them...

And rugby is violent, also. Would you like to dissapoint Australia, England, etc. and ask for rugby to be stopped? Well, martial arts is respected by many more countries than rugby, and has more protective padding, so you might want to think about the whys on that...

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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I'm very excited to see this sport, and these athletes, get more exposure. My husband has been training in 5 or 6 different martial arts, with 3 black belts, for 26 years. He's had a retina detach twice and is a professional artist, so he respects my wishes not to go pro as an MMA fighter. However, 50% of TV time in our house is normally on IFL, UFC, and other MMA shows.

Did you know that there are no recorded deaths in regulated MMA matches, but between 1 and 3 deaths in boxing each year? That's something to chew on, for those like Senator McCain, who think that MMA is "cockfighting".

Also, thank you, Matt Lindland, for taking your time to clear up some questions about these sports. I think very few people understand the basis of the majority of martial arts. These are incredibly old systems of values, learning, respect, and of course moves, kicks, and hits which were developed through warfare. Or in the case of Capoeira, it is a 'sport' based on round movements and music that African slaves brought with them when 'relocated' to Brazil. They were not allowed to practice fighting (an attempt to keep them from revolting against their owners), so they turned it into a dance, which their owners would allow.

There are reasons that many fighters continue to hit and kick when their opponent is on the ground or in the guard. (1) Some want to get the fight over as quickly as possible, which is not a great reason. (2) Multiple martial arts intentionally take you to the ground, and it's a test of your skills how you get out of that situation. The ground is not intended for wrestling. That's a sport of its own. The ground is another part of the ring, like standing; you just have to use different skills. Only on the ground would be wrestling. Only standing would be kick boxing. The point of martial arts, expecially mixed martial arts, is a very wide skill set.

And on that point, this is what those kids on YouTube don't have. They don't have training. These are people with no self respect and no empathy or sympathy, which are things you do learn in all martial arts. Shame on their parents. When I have kids, we will choose which martial art they train in to start, and they will have a basis of learning, hard work, and respect for the rest of their lives. They don't have to go as far with it as my husband does, but they will learn the basics.

The martial arts saved my husband's life. He was bullied and fought every day living overseas on an Army base, and no one cared to protect him. He built skills over time to defend himself, and once back in the US, a dojo was the only place he could go to escape a bad home life. Martial arts gave him self respect and confidence, something his home life never taught him. And since they couldn't afford to pay for his classes, he cleaned the dojo after hours and painted murals to earn his training.

To all of you MMA fighters out there, keep up the good work. And please make sure you are keeping up on outreach. I like the idea of public service announcments. Coming from these 'tough guys', I think it's putting responsibility on the right shoulders, and asking responsibility of everyone who appreciates the sport.

posted 4 years, 12 months ago
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