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When I was 15, I found my Mom in her bed and I was unable to wake her up.  She had left a list of medications she had taken and how much as well as a suicide letter.  I will never forget that afternoon.  I calmly called the paramedics and they came to pick her up.  Next time I saw her she was doped up in a mental hospital.  

She has tried multiple times to commit suicide, and it is a constant fear of mine that one day she will succeed.  Sometimes I think my life would be easier if she had, but I know that to not be true.  She has been through mental health care and continues to struggle with coping with her chronic depression and anxiety.  She has self-hospitalized multiple times, but in the end, she is still suffering.

I've tried many times to "help" her.  It's very difficult to stand by and only be able to offer her my love.  

posted 4 years, 3 months ago
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