Thank you for this discussion.
While I may be young, I have never in my life wanted to bear my own children. It is indoctrinated in little girls that being "mommy" is the right feeling to have, I was often criticized, even as young as 12 and 13, for not looking forward to a traditional family life when I was older.
Even now, after giving a wealth of reasons not to have my own children, friends still tell me that my biology hasn't kicked in yet, wait until more of my friends and family have children, then I will feel "the urge" etc and so on. It's really insulting and yet completely socially acceptable behavior.
It's acceptable because the course of human history tells us that bearing children is in the public interest. Investment and growth of human capital has always been a public affair, as a matter of community survival. (that's another discussion)
While I have pretty much ruled out bearing my own children, I have not ruled out adoption. Unfortunately, adoption is far more costly, time consuming and in many cases less predictable than having your own children. With so many parentless kids in the world I find it rather shocking that our system is still set up to financially and socially favor reproduction over adoption. This is not to say that we shouldn't support those who choose to bear their own, but rather, that we should support those who are making the sustainable choice to adopt just as much.
As a final note, if on this forum, parents decide to tell the childless that they are missing our and don't know/understand the joy of raising kids, consider this...In recent surveys of families with and without children, those without are more likely to be happier than those with kids. I think this is a very enlightening article that seems to fairly reflect the emotional misnomers people often have about being a parent. (The surveys cited in this article do not include the 2006 Pew research that concluded people with or without children were reporting equally on happiness)
posted 3 years, 7 months ago
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