RECENTLY ON TOL:
- A tumblr site dedicated to the people and places that make up Oregon and Southwest Washington.
Not as easy as just forgetting.
As a therapist I specialize in working with adult survivors of trauma, particularly childhood abuse.
Regarding the question "Why don't you just forget about it?" :
Premature sexual experiences, and traumatic memories are not set aside over time, nor fade like other bad experiences. Unfortunately, the way our brains and nervous system are wired to recognize emergency, these experiences can become MORE debilitating over time.
Early sexualization of children can compromise their developing sense of self. Ability to set healthy boundaries, to know where they begin and others end, to be able to truly say "yes" or "no" are all scrambled.
If any sense of safety is involved, neurobiology keeps this experience as raw data, not organized and coherent like the rest of memory.
Children, attempting to create some sense of control over their own lives, will often try to shoulder responsibility, and imagine it to be their own fault. Hence the child will have the sense of shame that rightly belongs solely to the perpetrator.
Others, in an attempt to retain feelings of love and trust on adults they depend on, will dissociate from the experience until they are stronger and long out of the situation.
All of this can take so long to sort out, that it can be years before the survivor has enough sense of self, and safety, to be able to speak out. In light of this, and because perpetrators can be active over decades, I favor repealing the statute of limitations.
posted 2 years, 2 months ago
view in context