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There are abusers who control their victim without using physical violence. I lived in such a relationship for 10 years, and he often made me thank him for not hitting me. As in almost all cases of domestic violence, the abuse fell into a predictable cycle of escalation and crisis and "honeymoon." Some of the things he did to me were unbelievably cruel, but he didn't hit me so it must not be domestic violence, right? I felt unworthy of domestic violence services because he did not use physical violence.
He told me that if I ever tried to leave him he would "become one of those crazy people" who would pursue me and / or take away my child. I did eventually leave, and he used the full force of his economic resources to perpetrate 10 years of a legal custody harangue against me, and to use the full force of his coercion to influence my child's thinking and life.
posted 2 years, 3 months ago
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