My memories: 5-10 grade 1960s
I was bullied probably because I was a boyish girl, fat and "teacher's pet.". All my girlfriends abandoned me at the end of 4th grade. After that girls were mean to me. I wasn't hit but I was verbally assaulted. Childhood was hellish and the only time I felt safe was when I was talking with my teachers. I learned to survive by avoiding others and hitting people with my purse when necessary. I don't remember telling any adults about these issues. Adults were always too busy and being a scaredy cat is not admirable. I was afraid until my junior year in high school when I finally gained some power as writer on my school newspaper.
What I learned was: Children have no positive morality. Childhood is something to survive. Children take pleasure where they can find it and it's pleasurable being cruel to others. Girls are as mean as boys but their cruelty is less visible.
One of the reasons I chose not to have children was because I found my own childhood almost unsurvivable (if it hadn't been for my childhood religious faith, I would have committed suicide when I first started thinking about it in 5th grade.)
Happy ending: what didn't kill me made me stronger and I am now a very happy and content middle aged professional.
I feel very sorry for all those kids being bullied but I don't see how one can change the "natural" cruelty of children. It seems hopeless to me.
posted 2 years, 7 months ago
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