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After 4 years in the UK, I returned to Portland with the optimism of my 18 year old self with all the innocence and hope of a recent high school graduate. Unfortunately, now I am nearing 27 and feel as though I have hit rock bottom. Depression sits in the wings as I aimlessly search for employment in a [lately realized] impossible field. Yet, I have been able to study the History of Art the world over; the one subject I thought would open all doors that had been shown to me. Besides the devastating economy, and poor choice of desired careers, I have spent over 50,000$ on 2 degrees that seem to mean very little to anyone besides further educational institutions. So, will another degree save me from the undesireable questions? Such as: What of me do I have to change to accustom myself to a time and age that has already decided what I am suppose to do? What unforseeable, drastic amendment to my dreams am I now meant to forget? Or, is happiness truly: to follow in the footsteps of ones parents/mentors and find 'success' in someone else's choices, but having comfort in the future unknown.

I am pleased with my studies. I would have wanted nothing else. Europe was my dream and I found a way to feel successful without the bank account and status. But now, 6 + years of higher education and ample [volunteer] experience, has me asking my local deli : "Are YOU hiring?" How sad.

posted 3 years, 1 month ago
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