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I have dear friends who have collected so much valuable stuff that they have filled up one house and are working on filling up a second, along with storage spaces. They can not invite us over, though we get along fine. Their hoarding has become an untouchable topic. It was brought up once during a crisis, one of them was willing to begin, but then nothing changed. They are knowledgable about the value of collectibles, so they have facts to back up their reasons for hoarding.

Still, their collections get in the way of relationships.

I feel something of the collector in myself, when I get ready to throw something out, I feel a fear that I may need that thing, may need to read it, use it, build with it, or , perhaps sense the realization that it took a lot of energy to build it so I want to save it for some future use.

When it comes down to it, though, I sometimes realize that, while I may miss the item down the road, I will miss other things if I keep the thing. Things like relationships and the piece of mind that comes with an ordered life. At least more ordered.

My spouse says I still keep a lot of stuff...but occasionally, and unpredictably, I may find a use for some odd bit, re-affirming my choice to save. Those erratic pay-offs seem to be a part of addiction.

Even so, for this summer, getting rid of things has surpassed the thrill of buying things. It feels like casting off chains when I can let go of those things that I want to save in order to support my life, which are actually holding me down, using up my living space and my brainspace I could be using for this moment.

I hope that I either my friends can learn to confront their hardship or I may learn to accept it...maybe both? I don't really know how to accept them and be responsible as a friend in not letting this dis-ease, if it is that,  harm them. I have brought it up, but not in a while. I value their friendship and want to be a good friend, especially through hard times. I wonder what to do...

posted 3 years, 9 months ago
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