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- A tumblr site dedicated to the people and places that make up Oregon and Southwest Washington.
Finally, regarding helping individuals: I think each person is the expert of their own experience, and it is a huge disservice to someone to tell them what to do with their lives; doing so takes away some of their control over their own lives (which is something they already experienced in their abusive relationship), and doing so neglects the very real fact that they know, better than anyone else, how to keep themselves safe in their dangerous situation, and, accordingly, know if/when/how it's safe to leave. It can be really frustrating as a friend or family member, but I think the best you can do is to let someone experiencing violence know that you will be a support person for them if they ever need help/resources/to talk/whatever and that you will care and love them without judging them or their decisions. And you can validate their own decisions: acknowledge that at every step of every way, every person makes decisions based on what they think will lead to the best outcome. No one makes decisions hoping it will hurt them or screw them over, and as an outside observer, you have no idea what considerations and factors went into their decision making. Let them know you get that.
posted 3 years, 2 months ago
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