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- A tumblr site dedicated to the people and places that make up Oregon and Southwest Washington.
I was in a category that was hidden from folks because the father of my child was very smart and understood human behaviour and never hit.
He was LOVED in his work community –he worked with families.
I describe our 17 year marriage like this – things were always ok as long as things went his way . I had freedom to do lead a normal life as long as I didn’t do anything to threaten his hold on me. i didn’t go to social functions without him since “ couples that do things separately grow apart. “ Therefore, I missed a one and only baby shower because the woman giving it said “no men allowed” so I “couldn’t” go. I used to believe his opinion that a women-only gathering was sexist.
I started to get healthy after my daughter was born and as I got healthier, his behavior escalated including death threats and stalking . Thank god my employer supported me when he got work at the same hospital I worked at and gave him a restraining order of sorts to follow whenever he was on-duty. As soon as they did that , he quit .
I want to share with others in a similar situation , that telling everyone you know or come in contact with what the situation is can really help keep you safe. I had to explain to folks that he may show up at their doorstep sometime or at mine and appear very calm and rationale and no one would guess how dangerous he was and that he was stalking me .
My advice I give to others
Along with counseling , reading The gift of fear by gavin de becker really helped me keep safe. I highly recommend it .
Avoiding interaction /contact of any kind saved me .
And never never trust the abuser will change
posted 3 years, 2 months ago
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