RECENTLY ON TOL:
- A tumblr site dedicated to the people and places that make up Oregon and Southwest Washington.
I applaud TOL by tackling this issue. My father committed suicide when I was 11. Even now at 35, I still live with the sense of guilt and responsibility. My logical mind knows it isn't my fault but somewhere deep down, it still is with me. It affected my relationship with men throughout my life. I wasn’t able to built lasting relationships due to a fear. Fear that someone was going to abandon me, that I wouldn’t be enough for someone to live for, that I would be left behind to endure life’s struggles alone. It was obvious that my father was in pain. He has struggled all his life. He never got the help he need. I understand this and I understand that in his state this seemed like the only way out. However, what is left behind for our family is indescribably dark. The desperate need for understanding, the guilt and anger at the person who died. That is all that is left.
posted 4 years, 3 months ago
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