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Thank you so much for pointing that out!

Here it is again, as I can't figure out how to edit my initial comment!

Weight Loss Surgery and Why I'm Having It

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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I?m fat. Always have been and, I'm sure, always will be. I wrote about what it was like living in my body at 500+ pounds and why I had decided to have weight loss surgery, even though I view it as over-performed and dangerous. Entry here. (The comments had to be closed due to massive amounts of trolling when it was featured on reddit, digg, something awful, and several other sites a few weeks ago.)

When I had surgery I weighed 550 pounds and was 5?6? tall. I was no longer able to work and could barely walk more than a few feet a time. I was on medication for high blood pressure and for my blood sugar. I was in pain every moment of every day.

It was the hardest thing I ever did. I consider myself fat positive/accepting and had to admit that my body was collapsing and I could feel myself dying. I had to admit that I wasn?t a healthy fat person. That I had failed. But it was the right decision for me.

It?s been nine months since my surgery and I currently weigh 351 pounds. Meaning I?ve lost 199 pounds in that time. It?s weird and difficult and exciting and embarrassing and all these other things mixed together.

And as happy and amazing as it is to feel healthier and stronger and to finally do all these things again that so many people take for granted... I still struggle when complimented on my weight loss because, politically and philosophically, I have a problem with it. I still struggle to not fall into the insanely disordered eating pattern I?ve followed my whole life. I still struggle with having done something I?m opposed to.

When my body is done losing weight I believe I?ll still be fat. How fat, I don?t know. But fat. And I?m happy with that. Fat is something I?ve always been. And, given the choice, I wouldn?t want to be anything else.

posted 4 years, 9 months ago
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