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I'm 30 years old and my partner and I remain undecided on whether or not to have a child. I agree with many of the reasons others have listed on this forum, however a new reason has recently surfaced for me.

As many of our friends are starting to have kids, I can't help but notice that for some, it is a total cop-out. If someone hasn't reached the goals they had set for themselves in high school or college, I think it's easy for them to have kids and then blame the kids for not achieving their dreams. They then tend to sink every resource into their children in the hopes that the children will achieve their parents' dreams for them. I hear this all the time, "Well, I planned on going to medical school, but little Jimmy came along and now I work in medical billing."  It's really sad to me, especially when these parents act like they are being so selfless. In my opinion, it just creates a vicious cycle.

I hear parents blame their children for all types of things, like their inability to get to work on time, maintain a healthy weight, take vacations, save for retirement, continue loving relationships with their partners, etc. It really turns me off. These kids didn't make the choice to be born, and yet they get blamed for disrupting their parents' lives.

posted 3 years, 7 months ago
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